For those of us who are married, the word "dating" brings up all kinds of memories, horror stories, laughs, the rolling of eyes, and maybe even regrets. I catch myself sometimes saying "I'm so glad I don't have to date anymore!" And I think that sentiment of disdain comes from the stress that came from seeking and not finding, and of trying to put my best foot forward without being disingenuous. It's hard enough in this life to answer the question "Who am I?" But to add that identity crisis to "Who am I when I am with this other person?" makes life sometimes impossibly challenging.
Kissing frogs became tiring and I'd all but given up by the time I went on that one date that changed my life -- the night I met Robert.
Tonight, 19 months after our wedding day, Robert and I are going on a date. I bought a new dress, and we're going to a wonderful restaurant, and we'll be cuddling up at home later on to watch a funny movie. Dating is more fun when you're married -- it's less stressful, more controllable, and infinitely more meaningful.
If you're in love with someone -- perhaps someone you married 20 years ago -- I urge you not to think of "dating" as something that precedes and then ends with marriage. Take your spouse out on a date tonight. And do it again next week. Dating, in its most beautiful incarnation, isn't really for single people at all. It's for those of us who already know the warmth of holding each other's hands. And it's for those who know that a "date" isn't about a day, or a season. It's about a lifetime.
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